Out With The Old, In With The New

Friendships are like relationships, and those who think the opposite, that they don't require dedication, hard work, and most of all love to make them work, will find themselves awfully lonely.  Even as a child, I understood that friendship was special, and I loved each of my friends equally and wanted harmony amongst them, even when that was impossible.  As a teenager, I began seeing my friends as family, because lets face it, when you are 14 or 15 or 16, your friends become far more important than your own family.  You ignore your families advice, and take your friends.  You disown your families morals, and adopt your friends.  Your parents point of view?  Archaic, uninformed, and of course, your friends obviously know more about the situations at hand then they ever could.  You define yourself by your friends, and whats more, they define themselves by you.  Its all so heavy.

It wasn't until I was a young adult, that I understood what my father meant when he told me,

' these people are not your friends, they are only aquantances.  When you grow up, you will be lucky if you have a friendship with even one of these people'. 

If he was ever wrong about anything in his life, it certainly wasn't about this. Those relationships were beautiful when they bloomed, and flourished, but eventually withered and died like a beautiful flower does just before the first snowfall.  After all these years I still cherish the time spent with those beautiful people, just like you remember the sweet scent of the lilacs even after the blooms turn brown and fall off.  You can't replace the friends you had as a teenager, because even after the relationship fades to black, they have left such lasting impressions on your heart and mind, so much so, they have become a part of who you are.  They are the people and the memories you turn to when life becomes too complicated and you long for just one more moment back in that simpler time. 

There's only one of my adolescent friendship that has grown into a wonderful, supportive and loving relationship, and trust me, that has not come without its trials and tribulations!  We have worked at it over the years and have gone past the superficial adolescent requirements of that time, and have painstakingly moved beyond that into a full fledged understanding of one another.  We accept, support and value no matter what.  We don't always agree, but we care enough to work through the disagreements.  Your friends can only become family through respect, shared values, and patience.  And trust me, it takes each to care enough about the other to make it through the hard times and disagreements, but it pays off in the end.  Because what you end up with is not just a friend.  Its family, and its love is unconditional.  You can't replace something like that.