Thursday, February 5, 2009

Brain Fog, It's Real!

I once asked myself why do I say things that I later regret...well I think I have figured out the answer to that question each and every time: It's because I was drunk! Well, seriously, not all the time, but this time specifically. I settled in for an evening of video games and a glass of wine with a new friend, and well..a bottle of wine later, and with an unsteady head, I forged into a topic of conversation of which even I was unfamiliar. I'm not sure what my plan was, although, I am almost positive my intentions were good. If I didn't learn anything else that night, I learned this; It is not good to try and express yourself with a body full of raging hormones and liquor. You must be asking, and you are only learning this now?? The answer is yes, for the first time, all over again.

But what is a girl to do? I was thrust into a situation of one week permanence, and there was no turning back. The thoughts in my head were frantic, but at the same time I couldn't reach them as they were buried somewhere deep beneath a layer of mysterious brain fog. Brain fog is an exciting, and yet dangerous phenomena that causes the sufferer to lose all common sense and practicality. As a result decisions are last minute and erratic at best. Let's just say my brain fog cleared about 6am Tuesday morning and I've been stewing in anxiety as a result!

I feel like I am waking up from a really long nap, where all of these happenings were just a dream(nightmare, if you will!) and am still wiping my eyes trying to make sense of it all. The you that you think you are gets called into question after one of these episodes, and it's not always pretty. I feel like I feel on my face after stumbling around in the dark, and what I am now seeing is that I haven't come so far in my emotional an intellectual evolution as I thought I had. Maybe this next journey I should consider taking with my eyes open.

No comments: